I mean...

Let’s fuck.

Let’s fuck until I don’t feel anymore.

Until the rhythm of our bodies drown out the thoughts that just won’t stop.

Lets fuck until there’s nothing but fucking:

no you,

no purple bed sheets,

no sound of my phone ringing that I answer during because I just don’t give a fuck anymore,

nothing.

I want nothingness so lets fuck.

Lets fuck until fucking means nothing but nothingness.

Maybe you want love but I want disgrace.

Lets take this beautiful act and spit in its face.

Lets fuck.

Lets fuck until I don’t care.

I don’t care. I say I don’t care. I do care. I don’t want to care.

But I do

I hate myself, I hate you…

For being there all the time.

For being so kind

So lets fuck

You’re turning me into a monster

I don’t know who I am anymore

So lets fuck… until I don’t feel anymore….

maybe I should just go to sleep now.

I feel so lazy, I just can’t get into school the way I use to. This semester is so hard. 

I don’t love this girl, I can’t look her in the eyes when we make love, or…whatever you call it. 

after it’s over I’m just…repulsed…

I told her at the beginning that we were just friends but I feel her falling in love with me. 

I don’t know what to do. 

I don’t know if its because I just don’t care or…I’m just no longer capable of love..?..

“Circles, we’re going in circles
Dizzy’s all it makes us
We know where it takes us
We’ve been before
Closer, maybe looking closer
There’s more to discover
Find out what went wrong without blaming each other

Think that we got more time
When we’re falling behind
Gotta make up our minds

Or else we’ll play, play, play all the same old games
And we wait, wait, wait for the end to change
And we take, take, take it for granted that we’ll be the same
But we’re making all the same mistakes”